Tips for Improving Joy
Tips to Improve Joy:
The day after my husband proposed to me, we were on our way to explore the culture and history of the Mayans at Chichen Itza. On our way back, we stopped at the infamous “sinkhole” that was also known as Cenote Ik Kil, and is around 157 feet deep. If you know anything about me, deep water slightly terrifies me. Not for fear of drowning, but fear of the unknown of what could linger near me without my knowledge in the depths of the abyss! I love the ocean, but I’m totally OK with not getting in the ocean, and admiring from afar. But, with all the excitement and feelings that come after getting engaged, I was on cloud 9, and feeling excited for our future. So, I promised myself, and my Fiance, that I would get in this sinkhole and fight my fear. I’m a woman of my word, so when I got to the edge of the sinkhole, I knew there was no backing out, even though I really wanted to. When I stepped in, my entire body felt heavier than ever before, nearly like something was pulling me to the bottom of this sinkhole. I tried so hard not to panic, although I’m sure my internal panic might have very well been the reason I felt something was in fact pulling me to the bottom of that sinkhole, but the water was as dark as ever, and as deep as ever. Just like everyone who goes on this tour, or so I hope, I survived, and I also got out as soon as possible. I was so happy to not get back in.
Depression can sometimes feel like getting, or even falling into a sinkhole. Depression can feel as though the weight of the world is pulling you down like a magnet. Before you know it, you’re in a downward spiral to the lower parts of yourself, and feeling so disoriented, you don’t see up from down. But try not to panic, take some deep breaths, and assess your surroundings. Help may be closer than you think. The ledge may be just a few short strokes away.
Here are some tips on getting back to solid grounding and finding joy once again: GIve these tips an intentional and honest chance. They may seem mundane, but stay committed, and have a friend join you on your journey if need be.
Get Active: Our brains, bodies and emotions are interchangeably connected. When we get overwhelmed, its common to disconnect from our bodies to help us feel more safe. But the reality is, when we disconnect our emotions from our body, we will experience greater dysregulation and feelings of anxiety or depression. Physical activity enhances our mental state, all the while being good for us on a physical level as well. It forces us back into our bodies when trauma or pain tempt us to disconnect. When we activate our heart, our brain in turn, naturally releases those feel good hormones. These feel good hormones are also known as endorphins, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. When these hormones are released, it not only quiets the brain receptors that are connected to a feeling of “pain” but it activates those that are connected to feeling good, while regulating our mood. In seasons of hardship or long suffering, it is inevitable for our mood to be influenced. In these hard seasons, we must be intentional to get active, even when it might feel like the last thing we want to do. When you wake up in the morning and feel like staying in bed, crying your eyes out, or eating or drinking because of misery, do the opposite of how you feel. Get those tennis shoes on and get a walk or run in.
Get enough ZZZ’s: When we are awake, we tend to pick up toxins mentally, so to speak. Getting a great night’s sleep allows the brain to detoxify and rejuvenate! Have a consistent bedtime routine. When we implement a routine, over time, our brains associate this routine with bedtime and relaxation. So, set your mind to start easing into bed within a certain window of time. Dim the lights, take a bath, whatever you need to do to help yourself relax and be ready for bed. Ideally, if you can cut out the caffeine by noon, or sooner, and try to have a good 2 hours between dinner and bedtime, your chances of getting better sleep may increase. If you tend to go into full blown worry mode when your head hits the pillow, create a few minutes for worry before bed through the use or writing or some form of art to allow the worries to be externalized and honored, yet not consuming the whole of who you are.
Establish a routine: When it feels there is so much out of your control, it increases a feeling of depression. Yet, when you can create little habits throughout the day that you do have control over, it can provide a greater sense of self esteem, and peace. Maybe it's the decision to wake up 30 minutes early for that exercise, or for some quiet devotional time. Perhaps it's the simple tradition of going to your favorite drive through Starbucks for your favorite drink on Mondays, to start your work week off right. With so many of us working from home these days, if we can become intentional to establish a daily routine it will help us to stay on track and feel more confident all around. And, how can this not help our overall sense of joy?
Join a support group: So often when we experience depression, we often tend to isolate, causing greater feelings of loneliness. This turns into a depressive cycle as we convince ourselves we are the only one feeling a certain way. Yet, we were made for relationships. We are wired at our core for connection, whether we like it or not. Join a local support group or a bible study of some kind. A group or space where you can feel a part of something bigger than yourself. The risk of social isolation, especially in a time like this leads to sleep issues, poor executive functioning, and depression. Reach out for help. Know that you are not alone.
Think on good thoughts: “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. (Philippians 4:8-9). I don’t know about you, but I would love to be worked into God’s most excellent harmonies! When we intentionally fill our minds on that which is good and authentic, gracious and beautiful, it does something incredible. It re-patterns neural pathways in our brain. It heals what might fill so broken inside. What we think, we become. What we focus on, becomes our reality. Let’s strive to be good stuarts of our thought life, and I guarantee it will pay off in the long run!
Start a gratitude journal: If you are having a hard time with your thought life, you are not the only one! When it feels unnatural and difficult to center on things that are true, lovely, noble and admirable, start a gratitude journal. It will help kickstart some more positive thoughts and help recreate joy in your life. If you want to take this to another level, challenge yourself by sharing what you are grateful for with a friend. When you externalize your thoughts in this way, it fires off the brain in an incredible way, and promotes those new neural pathways in the brain to be made.
If you are needing any extra support or someone to process life with, please reach out. There are so many incredible men and women equipped to provide guidance and hope when life feels too heavy. Reach out to your local church, or a therapist in your area. What is so amazing about this season, is mental health support is more accessible than ever. Here are some resources I hope will help you along the way. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Let’s break the stigma of mental health and recognize this has been a hard year, and there is no shame in reaching out for help. In fact it is brave.
https://www.mhanational.org/depression-support-and-advocacy#Depression%20Screening